You recognize a Goddess when you see one. When I first met Lourdes Starshower, I knew she was an extraordinary woman. Through her work she empowers women to embrace their sexuality and live their lives to the fullest and helps couples build deeper connections and elevate their relationships to the next level. Today I sit down with this Goddess to get a glimpse of what gifts she brings to the world.
When was it that you realized that you were a Goddess?
When I turned 49 I was having strong perimenopause symptoms. So, I asked my closest friends to create a Croning ceremony for me to honor the onset of wisdom and the letting go of the attachment to youth and beauty. Their ceremony was so powerful that I stopped having hot flashes and mood swings, got a belly button piercing, learned to really love myself, and Bellydanced my way back into youthfulness and beauty. Bellydance performance brought me into my true body wisdom of what it means to be a goddess. I performed mostly for myself but also truly enjoyed the effect that my dance, and my joy, had on the audience.
You call yourself "Lourdes Starshower". How did you choose your spiritual name?
The name “Starshower” was chosen for me by other light workers at a Festival. I had asked a new friend to give me my Spirit name and after a few hours he came back to me with that name. Later that evening a woman told me I looked like a star that flew down to earth. That’s the moment I was certain it was the right name for me.
You are a Tantra Healer. What exactly does it mean?
I actually coined the term “Tantra Healer.” When I first began studying Tantra, people called themselves Tantra provider, teacher, practitioner or educator. I had already been a Hypnotherapist and Energy Healer for several years and I knew my purpose was much larger than that. So, I called myself Tantra Healer Florida because I support people in releasing whatever is in their way of accessing greater self-love, drawing in higher love and reaching higher ecstasy. Often people who come to me have experienced sexual, emotional, verbal or physical abuse. Sometimes they’ve been shut down by societal repression about sexuality and over-obsession with the mind and mental constructs. So, many people are not fully embodied. To truly experience the highest levels of sacred Sexuality, a healing and releasing of the past is necessary as well as the expansion into a direct connection to the Divine and to one’s higher gifts.
For me, personally, sex and sexuality have always been something of a taboo, associated with guilt and shame, and now I am finally starting to embrace my sexuality. What kind of advice can you give to other women who may go through the same experience? How can one shed years of shame and conditioning associated with sex?
The shedding of shame and other negative conditioning associated with sex is absolutely critical to our full embodiment and the ability to step into our power as women. That’s the reason shame and guilt were instilled in women in the first place. To keep us down, to make us more obedient to the patriarchy, to keep us from stepping into our full power lest we might overthrow the systems that men have put into place.
When we release our programing, we realize that women’s libidos are just as high as men’s (sometimes higher). Our orgasmic response is more varied and far-reaching, happening through our clitoris, g-spot, cervix and even throughout our whole bodies. It’s easier for women to have Cosmic Whole Body Orgasms because of the way we are genetically and biologically wired, though men can also learn how. Teaching men to move beyond superficial sexuality is another one of my specialties.
In addition to being a healer, you are a performing artist. What does dance mean to you? Why is it important?
Art is essential to my well-being and to the further expansion of my spiritual gifts. I dabble in several art forms including writing poetry, cooking, sewing and costume design. Above all these, dance is my therapy, my religion, my prayer of gratitude to the Universe, my outlet for releasing shadowy emotions and limiting beliefs. I always dance for myself first. People ask me how I can keep a smile on my face, even during complex and physically challenging choreographies. It’s simple. I dance for the sheer joy of it. My joy is inherent in the dance. It just is.