can you boost confidence through creativity?

"Women have amazing feminine intuition. It's sweet, playful, sexy, authentic, and our super power. It's a deep down trusted KNOWING.

When not nourished and forgotten, it sounds something like this:

”I don't have a creative bone in my body”, or "I don't have any good ideas." which in turn creates "I don't trust my gut feelings" or my original ideas are not worthy"... "I am not worthy".

This is the beginning of a post by a client for whom I did a branding photoshoot, ArtSea Living studio, a space which provides a safe place for women to explore their creativity.

How true, I thought to myself.

I think whenever we say "I am not [positive adjective]" or "I am [negative adjective]", we limit ourselves.

Labels we stick on ourselves.

Take, for example, a phrase "I am not flexible".

Let's say, you cannot touch your toes, bend yourself into a pretzel, do a handstand, or do other impressive poses that experienced yogis can. By the way, pictured here in a pretzel pose is one of my amazing clients, a yoga goddess named Kesley (you can read about her photoshoot by clicking on the photo).

What would happen if you practiced regularly, say by stretching three times a week, maybe taking a yoga class now and then, or maybe by committing to a regular schedule of yoga classes? If you committed to gaining strength and practicing hand stands (my personal dream), for a period of three months, how would it change you? Do you think stretchability of your muscles would change? Even if after a year of regular yoga classes, if you still can't do a split or touch your toes, do you think you would dare to say about your body "I am not flexible"?

I don't think so.

The same applies to people who say "I am not creative". Sometimes it's easier to slap a label onto ourselves that says "I am not this or that" so we can avoid the vulnerability (aka embarrassment) of having to show up and try ourselves in that thing. By stating "I am not creative" I save myself the embarrassment of creating something that resembles a drawing of a five-year old that people would laugh at.

The crazy thing is that these notions of negative "I ams" and "I am nots" come from very strange places! I used to be the person who described herself as "not creative" or "not talented". I had been drawn to photography for years, but the "I am not creative" label I adopted kept me from trying my hand at it. Do you know where the notion came from?

You see, when I was growing up in the Soviet Union, many of my classmates attended music school where they learned to play piano or violin. I somehow managed to get myself into dance lessons, which I attended four times a week. When my mom asked me if I wanted to learn how to play piano, I told her "How could I possibly fit that into my schedule?" The answer of my ten-year-old self was “no”. As a result, I never learned how to play piano, and I also never became a dancer.

Later on life I started regarding people who knew how to play a musical instrument as "talented" and since I did not learn how to play one, I was not talented, and therefore was not creative.

Do you see how erroneous that thinking is?

Another thing about creativity is that sometimes people think about creativity and art as something reserved for the special few. They think of art as something requiring a degree or diploma that grants you a permission to do it. I was also one of those people! Since I did not have a degree in photography, who was I to practice it and, god forbid, call myself a photographer?!

The truth is (according to me and many others) creativity is something we ALL have access to. It is in our bones, it is our birthright. Just watch how little kids play and you will see that you don't need a piece of paper certifying your creativity for you.

Try saying “I AM creative”, “I have access to the infinite source of inspiration and creativity”, “Creativity is my birthright” and see how it feels in your body.

For me personally, finding photography as my creative outlet gave me more confidence as a person. I feel safe in expressing myself, though I would be lying to you if I said it happened overnight. It has been a process, it still is. (There is also a notion of assigning a lot of my worth to the identity of an artist/creator, but that’s a topic for another story…)

creativity is not reserved for art only.

Creativity is something that we get to practice anywhere in our life, it’s not reserved for creating art only. How you decorate your home, prepare your food, the clothes and accessories you wear and even the way you talk are all forms of expression, CREATIVE expression!

Phrases like "I am not creative" or "I am not flexible" can keep you cozy in the safety of a comfort zone.
They help build a soft padded wall that protects from requests to try something new. It is also a static mindset. "I am not flexible" means that I have been cast into a solid mold and I cannot break free from it.

I believe the LANGUAGE we use greatly affects the perception of our abilities and capabilities, therefore it is best to avoid phrases that cast us into impossibility mode (aka victim mode).

Since we are talking about labels, do you know what most clients tell me about themselves before a photoshoot?

You may have heard it or you may even use it to describe yourself.

I AM NOT PHOTOGENIC.

This phrase means whenever I look at photos of myself, I never like any of them. We don't bother to mention that the photos were taken from the wrong angle, in bad lighting, in a really unflattering pose, by a person who has zero understanding of what’s visually appealing. We just slap a label on ourselves saying "I am not photogenic". As a professional photographer, I can assure you that I can make anyone look photogenic!

If “I am not photogenic” is a label you often use, I invite you to throw it in the garbage. You don’t need it anymore!

One of the reasons a Goddess Photoshoot is an empowering experience for women, is because of the CREATIVE PLAY element inherent in it.

Most of the women I photograph are not professional models. I don’t expect them to know how to pose. To help women look their best I gently guide them through the posing process, suggesting this or that pose, near this tree or holding that leaf.

What happens most of the time is that after we photography for some time, women start listening to their intuition and they start creating poses and ideas themselves! They might be shy at first, I encourage them to follow the hunch and we see where it leads us. Creative play is trying this pose hugging a tree, and then maybe shifting a pose a little bit, and a little more, and the next thing you know, you are climbing the tree, feeling powerful and free, and we create a series of amazing images.

Check out this video, if you are curious to learn more about a Goddess Photoshoot and what you can expect during one.

Removing all the "I am nots" and negative "I ams" from our lives is a way to free ourselves.

It is committing to a growth mindset, trusting and knowing that you can morph yourself into whatever version of yourself you desire. It is knowing that most of the things in life are skills, just like riding a bike or driving a car, that can be learned or cultivated, practiced and honed (creativity is one of them!) And once you have that knowing that you can be anything, how powerful is that?

And to answer the question posed in the title of this story, YES, YOU CAN! Add more creativity to your life and see what impact it has. Good luck!

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I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings inspired by a social media post of a client. What is your experience with creativity? How do you express yourself creatively, how has that changed your life? Let me know in the comments or send me a message, I would love to hear from you!

how a little bit of creativity might infuse more JOY into your life

As I take a step back to have a better angle at my model -- a rosy, delicate pastry sitting atop a silver mirror-like platter, an unusual model for a portrait photographer, a door opens and a woman who works in this café comes out and throws a glance at my setup. Her eyes light up and she says, “ah, beautiful!” She must be in her thirties, half of her strawberry blond hair is shaved on the bottom, and the rest is tied into a messy ponytail on top. Her eyes are pale green and she wears glasses. She starts asking me questions and rambling on about something and I don’t even understand WHAT she is saying but I understand what she is FEELING: JOY.

And her feeling is familiar to me. I start wondering why people get so excited when they come in contact with the PROCESS of CREATION. Do you ever notice how people gather around an artist painting on the street, or a musician playing guitar in the town square? People are drawn to art, to the process of creation. And it gets me thinking about the book that I am reading right now by Julia Cameron called The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. Judging by the title alone, someone might think that this is a book for creators, someone who is already a writer, photographer, painter, but it is not so. I believe this book is for everyone who wants to experience (more) JOY in LIFE.

In her book the author invites everyone to do art just because it is FUN. Not because we want to become world-famous artists but because it is ENJOYABLE. And it is not even art per se, but doing activities that you have been dreaming of, things that you FEEL will make you happy but the things your rational mind is advising you against. By allowing our inner child creative play we get in touch with the creative Source, with what we truly want to do, and bring joy into our lives.

How many adults do things just because they are fun? People who are not in creative professions who allow themselves to paint, mold something out of clay, or take up a pottery class? It is rare. As a creative myself, whenever an idea strikes me, I get fired up for a moment and then the voice in my head says, “well, can you make money with it?” Or “can it give you fame?” How about doing it just because it is a great idea! And I am already in the creative profession! How many accountants or real estate agents say, “hey, I'm going to go get some beads in Michael’s and start making jewelry just because it feels good”?

The main premise of the book is that "WE ARE ALL CREATIVE and with the use of a few simple tools we can become more creative. Creativity is a spiritual practice. We have only to open ourselves up to the Great Creator working through us". It is not a philosophical or theoretical book that talks about creativity - it GIVES you SPECIFIC TOOLS to bring your creativity to life, the creativity that does exist in you, but might not have been given a chance to show itself. Just like you need to invest time into growing your muscles or making your body fit, you will need to invest time into become CREATIVE or more creative. But one promise I can make to you is that unbottling your creativity, ALLOWING yourself to FEEL JOY, will have a tremendous impact on your life.

Many people are, what the author calls them, BLOCKED CREATIVES. They are people who unknowingly do not allow themselves to express their creativity. You know, I used to be a blocked creative! In my early thirties I labeled myself as "not talented". It was clear: I didn't know how to play a musical instrument, I didn't do any crafts, hence, I had no talents. And even though I had been drawn to photography since I was in my early twenties, I didn't DARE to try photography because, clearly, “I had no talent”. And only when I quit drinking on April 18, 2013, about a month later, I bought a digital camera and signed up for a photography class at a local art school. (Actually, Julia Cameron, the author of the book, is a recovered alcoholic, too!)

Fear is holding many of us back because fear does not like change, it does not like the status quo to be challenged. Out of fear it is safer to stay creatively blocked, something that feels like an old comfy chair rather than venture into the unknown territory of exploring your creativity.

The concept of Creative Source may feel awkward to some, but the author invites us to have an open mind. She explains that by tuning into the frequency of the creative force around us we are capable of becoming more creative. I have been able to experience this first-hand. The reason I chose the name Francesca Bliss for my artist is because when I started photographing, it felt like it was not something that was being created by me, but instead, something that was happening THROUGH me.

When I see people who are obviously yearning for something, but don’t allow themselves to do it because they "don't have time", or "it is stupid", or "they can't earn a living with it", it makes my heart ache. One such person is as close to me as it gets. It is my husband.

Isaac is originally from Turkey, he has an amazing voice, sings beautifully, plays guitar, loves, I mean, LOVES, music, AND has a sex appeal and dreaminess about him to be a musician. He picks up the guitar every now and then, looks up chords on the internet and plays and sings to us. He learned to play the guitar when he was a teenager, saved up money for a guitar and signed up for classes and then plucked those strings until he got blisters on his fingers. To this day he has a grainy video of him with long hair performing a Metallica song on stage at an event of some sort back in his hometown of Adana. He can can sit down at the piano and figure out how to play a simple tune even though he has never even learned to play piano. And the way he sings... Ah, especially those overly dramatic Turkish songs (he translates them for me) - they will make you want to jump off the balcony.

I remember when I was young(er) and reckless, back in my smoking days, an older woman saw me with a cigarette, and in a very quiet, non-preaching voice said, "Imagine, a friend gives you a beautiful vase as a gift. You take it from your friend, spit into it and put it on the table."
"Why would I do that?" I reply, trying to figure out the point she is trying to make.
"Well, you are doing just that now. God gave you lungs to breathe, and you are spitting into his gift."

That was totally over my head back then. But I use the same metaphor now when I try to talk my husband into using his talent.

"The Universe gave you a gift", I say. "You have an obligation to the world to do something with it!" I desperately try to convince him.

In response he says something about the fact that right now we need to focus on making money, blah.. blah... blah...

Remembering that In The Artist's Way the author explains that it is FEAR that is blocking us from pursuing our creative endeavors, I ask him, "If you were guaranteed 100% that if you do the music thing, you cannot fail, would you do it?"

"Of course!", he says as his eyes light up.

(At this point I just want to shake him up and put him in a musician boot camp where people are forced into being musicians, even if it is against their will.)

For many people whose gift may not be as obvious as that of my husband, exploring your creativity is something that will not be a waste of time and energy. I am convinced that it will bring you JOY, a SENSE of FULFILMENET, CONFIDENCE, and those qualities will affect all areas of your life - health, nutrition, choice of friends, overall outlook on life, and maybe the whole course of your life!

If you feel that you can use a little more joy, a little more creativity in your life, get a copy of the book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron and see if any of it resonates with you. As the author says, “Leap, and the net will appear.”

Until next time, my friend! May the New Year be your MOST CREATIVE YEAR yet, the year when you ALLOW and CONSCIOUSLY INVITE more JOY into your life, when you allow your inner child to do the things she or he yearns for. Be JOYFUL and be well!

Francesca Bliss