a toastmasters lesson in choosing yourself
I am a member of Boca Raton Toastmasters because I want to move people with my words. In case you don’t know, Toastmasters is a worldwide organization that helps people overcome the fear of public speaking, and it is an amazing place for personal growth AND community.
Toastmasters meetings are split into three parts. First, several speakers present prepared speeches. After that evaluators provide feedback to the speakers who presented, and, lastly, there is Table Topics - a portion of the meeting where club members get to speak on a given subject for one to two minutes without preparation. After each portion of the meeting we vote for who we thought was the best speaker in that section. At the end of the meeting, the club president presents ribbons to the Best Table Topics, Best Evaluator, and Best Speaker.
When it comes to voting, each person writes the name of the person they thought was best on the piece of paper, someone collects and counts the votes. The voting does not prohibit you from voting for yourself. If you were one of the speakers, evaluators or table topics presenters, you can vote for yourself.
Last night, after our meeting, I got into a conversation with Channing Lamar, a beautiful goddess whom I admire. For context, I did not do very well in my speech. Even though I prepared, I wasn’t prepared as well, and, therefore, I did just ok. (If I take more than one day to prepare, I do waaaay better)
“I always vote for myself,” Channing said. To which I replied, “Well, if I felt that I did an amazing job and I clearly saw that I was way better than other speakers, I would have voted for myself”. By the way, I don’t think this would have never happened. It was a lie born in the spur of the moment!
“No, you don’t understand.
I ALWAYS vote for myself.
Regardless of how well or poorly I thought I did.
I ALWAYS VOTE FOR MYSELF. “
Wait, what?
That was some very radical thinking for me, and also sooo powerful. There I was, falling into a short-term depression over “how horrible I did”, and this woman VOTES FOR HERSELF, just for showing up. I loved that. And I wanted that for myself.
How often do we wait for validation from others? The entire voting process is asking for a group to decide how well you did! When you vote for yourself, you don’t wait for others to validate you. You don’t ask for permission, you believe in yourself and you give yourself a pat on the back. That’s magnetic AF!
When I woke this morning, I felt a little better about my speech. I still cannot watch the recording of it, but I will get over it over time. This morning, I chose not to focus on that part of my speech where at a certain point I stared at the audience and for the life of me could not remember what I was supposed to say next and then proceeded to admit that (never do that!).
Instead, I decided to focus on something that I tried yesterday that was fun. For example, in yesterday’s speech asked my audience to stand up. They all stood up. And then I said, “I have just literally moved you with my words”. And that is why one of my reasons I joined Toastmasters, remember?
I also decided to focus on backing myself. I showed up. I prepared. Maybe I didn’t do my BEST, but next time I will do better. And what Channing said, impressed me so much, that I decided to adopt that kind of radical compassion and self-love for myself.
From now on, I too will VOTE FOR MYSELF. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
